zoom

(via tinitalalokita)

zoom

Huey: Why does it always have to end like this?

Riley: ‘Cause you’s a bitch.

(via nexusphantoms)

zoom

dorkgeekus:

I’m sick of women singing about broke me, sick of men singing about loose women, sick of award shows, sick of name-brand clothes… From this moment on, I stand as the antithesis of Black popular culture! I am the Anti-Cool! I hereby declare myself… A NERD!

- Huey Freeman

Final thought for Black History Month 2011:

For all those who will be taking yourself out to eat, then getting drunk to go home and take advantage of yourself, and won’t call yourself tomorrow, please remember to wrap it up.

Beware Bitch Dependency this Valentine's Day.

• A Pimp Named Slickback: [at Grandad's home] Mr. DuBois, my name is A Pimp Named Slickback. And this sir, is an intervention.
• Tom: An intervention?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Your friends have reason to believe that you are suffering from chronic Bitch Dependency, Mr. Dubois. May I call you Tom?
• Tom: Is this some kind of joke?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Tom, Bitch Dependency is no laughing matter. Addiction to a bitch can fuck with your friends, your health, and scary enough, even your money. It's a disease Tom.
• Tom: Wait, what was your name again?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Well thank you for asking, my name is A Pimp Named Slickback.
• Tom: Wait, A Pimp...?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: ...Named Slickback, yes. Please say the whole thing, if you would. Yes, that includes the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes, Tom, every time.
• Tom: Look, Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback...
• A Pimp Named Slickback: ...no need for the "Mister".
• Tom: I... I don't think I need any help from [scoffs] someone like you.
• A Pimp Named Slickback: And by [scoffs] ''someone like me," you mean a pimp? A bad guy?
• Tom: Now look, I'm not trying to insult you, I just don't approve of what you people do to women.
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Ooh! So I'm wrong! So I'm messed up! Well which one of us is the one missing a bitch, Tom? You don't see me running around lookin' for a bitch! I know where all of my bitches are, thank you very much! [dials number] Bitch where you at?!
• Bitch: I'm out here gettin' yo money!
• A Pimp Named Slickback: That's what the hell I thought, thank you grandma! [looks at Tom] Now look at you! BITCHLESS. Sans bitch, as the French in France would say!
• A Pimp Named Slickback: [in the limo] Did you know that scientists now believe that some people are actually born with the genetic predisposition to Bitch Dependency, Tom?
• Tom: And exactly, when did you become a relationship counselor?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Well, sharing this pimp knowledge for an exorbitent fee is my way of giving something back to the community, Tom. I wanna help you Tom, I do. But I need you to help me help you.
• Tom: Hmm. "Help me help you." Yeah. Ok.
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Now, tell me, if you would, about this bitch you have an unhealthy dependency on.
• Tom: Could we please not call her a b... b... bitch.
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Say it. Bitch. Yeah. YES. We gotta call her that Tom! I'm sorry. After what she's done, not calling her a bitch would be disrespectful to you, and I'm not able to do that. Now please continue, Tom.
• Tom: Well, My wife, Sarah. I mean, she's the best woman in the world. We've had a great life together until now.
• A Pimp Named Slickback: It sounds to me, Tom, like some of the passion has gone out of your marriage and perhaps you're not providing enough excitement for her. It's a normal thing in long-term relationships.
• Tom: And you can help me fix it?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: HELL NAH. I'm gonna help make that bitch behave! She wants excitement she can take her ass to the movies!
• A Pimp Named Slickback: [at A Pimp Named Slickback's mansion] Did you know that a least 75% of bitches suffer from some kind of hearing loss? This alarming statistic means that more likely than not, talking isn't the most effective way to communicate with a bitch. That's when you have to hit her.
• Tom: Whoa, What?
• A Pimp Named Slickback: You tell her what you want her to do. If she say "No," HIT the bitch! Simple.
• Tom: But I... I couldn't hit Sarah. I couldn't hit any woman!
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Has NOT hitting a bitch been working? I mean, scientifically speaking, has NOT hitting a bitch achieved the desired results?
• Tom: No way. I just, I...I... I can't. I cou... I couldn't. I won't!
• A Pimp Named Slickback: Tom? Tom, take a deep breath. It's ok. People have phobias: some niggas can't cross bridges, you can't go upside a bitch's head. Ok. We can beat this.

zoom

expensiveexpression:

for my fellow Brooklyn heads.

i know ya’ll can relate. lol

Basically.

(via fybkny)

zoom

I will be this awesome when I’m an old man.

(via schemesanddreamss)

The Color Ruckus.

• Mister Ruckus: Come 'ere bitch. Gimme some real quick.
• Bitch Ruckus: You ain't say nothing so far about my hair.
• Mister Ruckus: 'Cause it ain't yours.
• Bitch Ruckus: It is so mine. I'm the first colored girl you ever met with blond hair. And one day, I'm gonna have eyes as blue as the summer sky.
• Mister Ruckus: BITCH, you ain't never in a million fucking gonna have no blue eyes. You're hairier than a motherfucker too. Your personality ain't much to speak of either. Your cooking ain't shit. You ain't clean worth a dime... NASTY bitch. But I need someone around here that's gon' wash the shit stains out of my draws, so I guess you'll do.
• Bitch Ruckus: But Mister, yo momma hates me.
• Mister Ruckus: Momma ain't got much more time left in her. She gon' be dead in a few seconds, you watch and see.
• Bitch Ruckus: I don't know.
• Mister Ruckus: Look... uh... why don't we go for a walk down by the swamp and talk about it.
• Bitch Ruckus: But what about the-
• Mister Ruckus: BITCH, I SAID LET'S WALK BY THE SWAMP.

zoom

plussized:blasian-chellz:adult swim cupcakes , FTW.

That’s why buffalo are nearly extinct today.

Wait… so I can get my Tumblr account suspended if I use the word “nigga?” Because it’s a derogatory, racial remark that has divided people for many years?