(via str8nochaser)

I’ve recently accepted that I only know how to process the emotions of lust and rage. I have been conditioned to avoid most of the emotional spectrum by family, friends, and society itself. I distinctly remember crying when I was smaller over some disappointments and being told repeatedly by my grandfather and uncles that behavior wasn’t appropriate for men.

I have been heartbroken repeatedly now, but I still haven’t found a healthy way to deal with it. I can’t even talk about it without experiencing a huge wave of humiliation. I’m supposed to be an emotional anchor, not a wreck. Be in control of my feelings, not a slave. I’d rather drown in alcohol and other pussy than feel like I’m drowning in sorrow.

I’m probably no different from most Black men. But I think it’s uncommon to realize that this is a problem. And I’m sure it’s even rarer to attempt to address it.

I love to indulge in the “post-racial society” bullshit, but how can we as Black people actually be members? 200+ years of slavery. 100 years of Jim Crow. 20 years of COINTELPRO. 20 years (and counting) of the crack cocaine epidemic. Our entire history is riddled with oppression, external and internal discrimination, and self-deprivation to the point I don’t even think we know what it is to be human.

Showing emotions is human. Processing, expressing, and addressing emotions is human.

And we can’t.

Well, I can’t.

Machismo and misogyny is well-known in Hip-Hop. We celebrate being able to take care of our family, while simultaneously degrading its cornerstone: our women. We ball out for women, and ridicule them for being gold diggers. We celebrate our ability fuck as many women as possible, then call women whores when they exercise their own sexual freedom.

Meanwhile, artists that predate the Drake phenomenon have always been mocked or discarded for exploring the whole spectrum of emotion (like Common). We’re attacking the men that pride themselves on providing for their women on a physical, financial and emotional level. Men that express the hurt in being rejected, disappointed, or betrayed. Men that exposes the weaknesses in the Black man’s uber-masculine persona.

It’s scary, but I think it’s necessary. This conditioning, employed for generations now, is reaching its breaking point. I’m hearing far more common stories of men losing their shit and attacking their families on some savagery. When shaking the shit out of a woman or choking a bitch or even rape can be thought of as a joke, the last vestiges of sensitivity or dying out.

We shouldn’t let that happen.

Well, at least I can’t for myself.

First I have to learn to shed a tear again.

britteryikes:

“Not all black people…”

This is a partial transcript, you should watch the actual video…

You can’t come in and write an article that [says, “BET is the new and improved KKK,” without knowing you’re gonna get some backlash. If you think about the Ku Klux Klan and what they were all about. They were all about killing Black people and destroying Black people. The truth is, the clan doesn’t have that much power anymore. But BET has far more power than the Klan could ever have… and Lil Wayne has a message that is endorsed and accepted and absorbed by our kids.

Remember our kids look to their Hip-Hop artists almost like parishioners look to a pastor. They look to their Hip-Hop artists to tell them how to dress, how to think, how to act, what to do. I’ve SEEN it up close because I mentor these kids in these environments. And I see how their behavior patterns change, their dress changes,  their language changes with the new Nicki Minaj song or the new Lil Wayne that comes out. Lil Wayne is giving this message that is far more destructive than anything the Klan could come up with.

I think that our community is so forgiving. We are so blind on this issue, and so nonchalant almost like a pack of drug addicts. We will overlook a lot of things. BET can get away with acknowledging Lil Wayne as a celebrity; having him on the network whenever they want; they can even have him hand out rewards and perform at the BET Awards show and nobody will say a word. But when you pick an artist like Lil Wayne and you give him more nominations than any other artist on the docket, you are sending a clear message that says, “THIS is what we like. THIS is what we endorse.”

You are sending a clear message to everybody in the country… in the world, actually… and every record executive, every wannabe Hip-Hop artist, every Black boy that says, “Look, if you do what he’s doing, you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. You get to live like a king. So we want you to not only accept the poison this man is presenting to you, but we want you to create more of it because this is what we like.”

When do we stop and say, “Enough is enough?” [Lil Wayne] keeps pushing the button. I think even artists are fascinated with what they can get away with. So, like a child, they’ll kinda test you and try something else just to see how far they can go. Did Lil Wayne really need to make lyrics about making a woman to fall in love with him so he can turn her out and get her to steal and kill for him? And then, “Murder that bitch and send that body back to yo ass.” We do we stop? Does he have to say, “All Black people should drink cyanide and jump off a cliff?”

I have a certain degree of respect for BET, although I understand capitalism enough that maximizing shareholder wealth is the leading objective of almost any corporation in America. This is one of the problems with Black people because we tend to think that making a lot of money excuses almost anything you do. Any pimp, drug dealer whatever, could get instant acceptance because he’s got money in the bank. It’s an incredibly flawed way of thinking about things, but the truth is Black people have never had very much money, so we tend to value people who do have money even beyond judging the content of their character.

I think that as Black people, we should be offended by the notion that there are those that have power in this industry who believe we care so little about our children that we’ll let them absorb any message no matter how destructive it may be. So… it’s time for us to take a stand. I think it’s time for good people to draw a line in the sand and say, “No more. We will take this no more.”

craig-christ replied to your post: A Black man can’t seem to do anything right until he becomes a President of the United States.

When someone makes out of the hood and the community doesn’t see the immediate “hook up” he/she ain’t shit. When the community sees you fuck up it’s expected. The famous faceless coin.

Flipping the same coin over and over and over…

I don’t think it’s limited to our generation too, I’ve had to point a finger and my grandparents and tell them to quit hating too.

I think this issue has exploded in this day however, with immediate access to all types of news and seemingly unlimited ways to express yours. The negativity just compounds itself and it becomes your reality.

All you know is criticism and disappointment.

Happiness and success are no longer welcome here.

And even then niggas have something to gripe about.

Why can’t the Black community just be proud when a member of their community becomes successful? Why can’t the Black community just be supportive when a member of their community messes up?

I can’t even get mad at the mainstream media anymore, because I hear more negativity from my actual community.

Politicians. Businessmen. Athletes. Musical artists. Name on Black man that doesn’t face scrutiny for something…. ANYTHING.

I don’t understand what exactly is the problem. I don’t think we should stand behind anyone when they’re blatantly wrong or self-destructive, but some solidarity would be refreshing for once.